Star Wars #31 + Poe Dameron #15

In a lately-rare twist of fate, there are two new Star Wars comics this week! We get the start of a new Poe Dameron story that may or may not give us some insight on what’s left of my old pal Terex, and we get the intriguing continuation of the Gothic tale of the Screaming Citadel. So what am I doing wasting time with this introductory garbage?!?! Let’s get to it!

Star Wars #31
Star-Wars-31_CoverWe rejoin Han, Leia, and Sana to begin the issue, and the latter not only knows who Luke’s with but has already reasoned out where they went. Han probes Sana as to why she’s so well-versed in all things Aphra, but Sana won’t budge about what we, the audience, and Leia have already put together so I guess that backstory will have to wait ’til later…back at the needlessly hard to pronounce fortress referred to as the Screaming Citadel, we see that the vampire people (yes, that’s what I’m going to call them, deal with it) don’t care who you think you are, they’re not going to take your crap – case in point, Lieutenant Bombinax (decent name) shoves “Lord Hossferin” into a ravine to his apparent death and then takes out his two bodyguards without so much as batting an eyelash…then something very troubling happens:  he asks where Krrsantan is and we move to a panel showing him sitting in a cell…if something bad happens to Krrsantan I may never read a Marvel comic again – I’m serious. (Well, sort of…if he goes out in a cool way I guess I’ll get over it…but if he goes out in this arc I have a feeling I’m going to be upset…this story is, so far, only barely better than the whole Stonepower debacle.) Anyway, back inside the “creepy” citadel, it’s breakfast time:  which, of course, means hordes of gross food a la Temple of Doom. Also, I don’t know if I wasn’t paying attention or just didn’t notice before, but the Queen looks suspiciously similar to an evil version of Queen Amidala – or, maybe, a strange combination of Amidala and the Grand Inquisitor…moving on, her majesty needs “verification” of Luke’s abilities, so she brings dessert on a serving tray with the lid on and demands Luke to remove the lid with the Force…well, of course he can’t do it, he can’t move a god damn noodle so she might as well be asking him to lift the X-wing out of the swamp on Dagobah…Aphra mentions “he works better under pressure,” so the Queen sends an assassin over to put a knife to Luke’s neck to motivate him…but it doesn’t work. Aphra, feeling the room and getting nervous, sticks a small explosive under the table. The assassin gets rough with Luke as he continues to fail, slamming his head down on his plate. Aphra starts for the lid of the dessert, saying it doesn’t smell like the disgusting thing it should smell like, but the Queen says the deal is off if she touches it…then we get an awful panel where Luke’s face looks like it’s been goofed up by the stupid FaceApp thing I’ve been seeing on Twitter lately (that I hate with a passion…it’s so dumb). Finally with enough motivation, Luke moves everything on the table, revealing that the dessert was actually some of the symbiotes that Aphra used to unethically get her degree. The two escape the table and Aphra sets off her explosive – good bye bugs…the assassin gets the Queen up and asks if she should persue them, but the Queen says to “let the menagerie do that.” What’s that mean? Well, a bunch of mutant species that are controlled by Abersyn Symbiotes, the highlight of which, for me, being a two-headed Ithorian…while this was happening, Aphra tried to comm the killer droids to have them help get her and Luke to safety, but, as it turns out, they were indisposed holding Han, Leia, and Sana at gunpoint…and thus ends the issue…I, uh, I don’t really like this arc…I was all excited about it, and the standalone first issue was pretty okay, but, yeah, I’m gonna say it:  I’ve got a bad feeling about this…

Poe Dameron #15
Poe 15So, coming off that powerful homage to Carrie Fisher, we find that the Resistance is dangerously low on fuel and their underworld suppliers are systematically turning up dead. Last on the list is Captain Perrili, who is, I assume, a Quermian, though she may be a whole new species that just really, really look like Quermians – but yay, aliens! So, Perrili and her Quermian (I’m just rolling with it) crew standby to accept the Resistance shuttle that will be taking the fuel back to their secret base, but, uh oh, that’s not the Resistance, that’s the First Order! Now, before I go on, this really begs the question:  if the First Order knew about this, maybe Oddy wasn’t the only one sending intel…moving on, though, the First Order come charging out of their shuttle and immediately shoot the crew member next to Perrili. Oh, and hey, look who it is:  Phasma-not-Phasma and Terex. Exactly what they’re up to we don’t know yet, but we switch from there back to D’Qar where Poe explains that he’s going solo on a fuel run because the Resistance is running on fumes, but Black Squadron has other ideas:  they’ll just “run light” and run together. Back on the freighter, Terex details to Perrili that she’s been selling to the Resistance, and Phasma-not-Phasma goes on a Hux-like idealistic tirade about the “free galaxy” and ends up having Perrili shot. Meanwhile, on the way to their destination, Black Squadron decide the mission succeeds, no matter what, for L’ulo. When they arrive, there’s no one there, which was the plan, but they quickly find out the ship’s been rigged, Speed-style, to blow up if it decelerates. Black Squadron gets their droids on trying to find a solution, but in the meantime the ship has asteroids dead ahead, and, even though Poe can “fly anything,” he clips a fairly big on and is about to crash straight into another when it blows up! Turns out Black Squadron took to their X-wings to clear a path for Poe. For a further bummer, though, BB-8 finds out that the First Order cleaned out all the fuel so now saving the freighter is literally worthless…but, since they’d already decided to complete the mission for L’ulo, no matter what, they go after the First Order to get their fuel back…

And there you have it! It’s been a while since we had two issues in one week, so which was your favorite? In case you couldn’t tell, the Poe book was mine. I’m not willing to call the Screaming Citadel a bust yet, but it’s a 4-out-of-10 after two issues for me, how ’bout you? Do you love it and think I’m off my nut, or do you agree that it’s kinda meh so far? What do you think of this new direction for the Poe series? Frankly, I didn’t really care for that issue either, though I did love that the band of smugglers were aliens and not just another group of humans, and I’m interested to see where the story arc goes…so, give the books a thorough second read and let me know what you think in the comments…or I’ll send an Abersyn Symbiote to your house in an Amazon box…until next time, TWS out.

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